Bisexual people are plain selfish.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
soo... how was my night?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
