lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize