1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
