lets start a swedish sibling band together
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
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