I have demons in me.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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