If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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