Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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