Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
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