1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i came on her dog
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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