I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
