we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
