I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The feeling are messing with the penis
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
