I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize