i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize