So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
