Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i out mim tonsoeep
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