just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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