I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
