you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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