OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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