I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
