so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
