i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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