her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
