The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
