Non-Jews are for practice
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
