It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
