the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
