Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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