her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
where does the pee come out of this thing
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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