She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
