People with herpes should wear stickers.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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