just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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