curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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