Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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