so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
ttyl tear gas
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
