I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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