So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
