dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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