sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
