Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Alive.
So much puke
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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