somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
even my farts smell like vagina
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He has the fingertips of a God
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