i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Pooping to opera.
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