Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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