Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
