i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
