i don't like sucking hair
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
