Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think your dad took our porno
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
