On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Are we in a gay sports bar?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
