LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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