brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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