i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
