is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize