Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
