He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
