I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
