The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
