i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
