Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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