Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
