At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
