In the future we'll all be gay
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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