all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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