Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
