Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
