I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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