ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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