Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
