Whoa Z and x make the same sound
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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