Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I cannot find my penis.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
