I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
